New Sex Rules

1. You must be disease free. No STDs.

2. Males are only allowed ten days a year to “perform.”

3. Males are not allowed to be noisy or risk a two year ban.

4. No more than six females in the area at a given time.

5. Only young studs allowed.

These are actual ordinances recently imposed by Hopewell Township, New Jersey. Fortunately they only apply to chickens. Yes, the town has adopted these policies regulating the inner city mating activity of hens and roosters: Only six hens allowed per half acre parcel; Roosters are only allowed in city limits for a ten day period to allow for procreation (better get a ring on that wing first); Mature roosters are forbidden, as they tend to “Crow” a lot (quiet dear, the chicks will hear you); Roosters that are too noisy face up to a two year ban from the “copulation coop.”

So many puns, so little time.
Really, it wouldn’t be funny if it weren’t true.

Who said chickens weren't sexy?

~End abstention~

i’m trying something new. i’m going to put up funny or the absurd or whatever on “Fun Friday” in order to lighten things up heading into your weekend. What do you think? …yeah, about the chickens, too.

7 responses to “New Sex Rules

  1. You definitely pulled me in with that racy byline! I don’t think I’ll be able to eat KFC for awhile after seeing that picture. That is really disturbing and yet so ridiculous, it’s hysterical. A judge on a reality show would say, “There’s not enough emotion. You really have to convey the passion of the 13 herbs and spices”.

  2. Where DO you come up with this?
    Totally agree with the first rule-my teenagers have heard that one for years! But being single, I started to get a little worried with the other rules. Glad to hear they only apply to chickens!

  3. That picture is hilarious. The colonel keepin it real. And, I am sooo happy those sex rules do not apply. Well… I could live with 1 and 5. 🙂

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